TitleThe 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively

Author(s):  Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell

Publisher: Northfield Publishing (2016—Reissued edition)

# Pages: 224

Genre(s): Nonfiction, Parenting, Family

Rating: 4 out of 5

 

Why I Chose This Book:  Sometimes, no matter how much you tell someone you love them, they still don’t feel very loved.  This became the case after the birth of my third child.  My oldest (who had regressed severely after his first sibling was born), frequently told me “you don’t love me anymore.  You just love the baby!”  Frustrated, I tried to pay more attention to what he could be needing or missing that would make him FEEL the love that I hold for him.  When I got the chance to review this book, I jumped on it!  Maybe the answer would lie within its pages.

Publisher’s Blurb:

You know you love your child. But how can you make sure your child knows it?

The #1 New York Times bestselling The 5 Love Languages® has helped millions of couples learn the secret to building a love that lasts. Now discover how to speak your child’s love language in a way thathe or she understands. Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Ross Campbell help you:

  • Discover your child’s love language
  • Assist your child in successful learning
  • Use the love languages to correct and discipline more effectively
  • Build a foundation of unconditional love for your child

Plus: Find dozens of tips for practical ways to speak your child’s love language.

Discover your child’s primary language—then speak it—and you will be well on your way to a stronger relationship with your flourishing child.

What I Thought: This book is not only for parents but for anyone who interacts with children, providing practical and helpful information on how to meet the emotional needs of children.  From spending quality time together to giving gifts, from verbal affirmation to acts of service; every child requires a different amount and type of love.  Once you figure out the best way to help your child feel loved, their confidence should rise.  This doesn’t mean there won’t be problems, but the emotional connection will help you to overcome these challenges with your child.

 If you are familiar with the 5 love languages series, the concepts are very similar throughout each type of relationship.  However, reading this book will provide you with a much more clear understanding of how to alter that concept to meet the challenges and demands encountered in the relationship between a parent and a child.  It is important to truly identify the language your child identifies with in order to tailor your techniques and decisions toward meeting the emotional needs of that child.  No child will be the same, and honestly, the language your child identifies with might surprise you.

At first, I was a little put off by the organization of the information in this book—I mean, I wanted to jump right in, find out my child’s language, and get to speaking it!  But that approach is exactly what the authors caution against.  To truly be effective, you must incorporate all 5 languages into your interactions—not just the one the child prefers.  The information describing each way to love was excellent—I hadn’t really thought of all 5 ways, honestly, and once I started reading I noticed lapses in my own actions.

Toward the end of the book, there is a profile quiz to help identify a child’s preferred love language, but it is intended for ages 9 and up.  I was a little disappointed that below this age, the advice was to mostly watch, listen, and observe.    While the author did clarify more on exactly what to listen to (What does the child ask for? What does the child complain about?), I was looking for something a little more concrete—as if children are that simple to understand.  J   I did really like that the authors discussed how to handle discipline with relation to these love languages—it is far too tempting to just take away the one thing that means the most to your child without understanding the damage such an act could cause.

Overall, this book is a wonderful tool to draw from in strengthening your relationship with your child.

**I received this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

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