My life is a whirlwind of controlled chaos. My belongings are packed into boxes (and black trashbags, in my husband’s case) as I prepare to move into a new location. My brain is trying to compartmentalize everything I have learned throughout life–note: not JUST college, but my entire LIFE–about how to be a teacher.
Next week I have teacher orientation to start my teaching career. Though the school itself is tiny, I have high hopes for having a large impact on the students in my classes. I will also be coaching Varsity cheerleading. My nerves are surprisingly low for coaching, but I can’t seem to wrap my head around what exactly I need to be doing to prepare for teaching. I have so many ideas, and so many wonderful things I want to share with students and help them to find ways to understand themselves, but lack the necessary direction and clarity to create a curriculum map.
I am a planner–hence my chaos being controlled. I realize there are many things beyond my control, but those things which I can control, I feel that I must. If I don’t, who will? I’m not very trusting for others to get things done. If it affects me, I want to have my hand in the pot. I’m okay with letting people take the reins for their own lives–after all, they must at some point. But me? Can someone else really take care of me?